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September 18, 2017

Lessons from the Imperfect Momma

I know we all like to think we have it all,...or most of it together all the time.
News Flash!...We don't!
Most days, we're lucky we keep ourselves alive.(Thank you, Gods of Maxwell House and international creamer!!)
Sure, we have become the Grand Master, Mother of faking it!
Why do we constantly feel like we have to prove ourselves or our worth to everyone else?
As if we don't have enough crap to deal with. Pleasing our Lord. Pleasing our children and spouse.
Have we become so wrapped up in the idea that we need to please every human we may encounter that we kill ourselves faking it?

I like to tell myself that, "I don't care what people think of me!"
We all say that to ourselves, Don't we?
So, why don't we actually feel that?
Why can't we just be accepting of ourselves AND others?
Isn't that the lesson we teach our littles?
That everyone is special in their own way.(I know I'm some kind of special!)
To love and accept others as they are.

And the honest truth is...
We probably aren't thinking about you nearly as much about you as you'd like to think we do.
Or, should I say, You don't think about me as much as I stress and believe you do.
That is more likely the reality.
Social media has made us believe that our outside appearance and every single aspect of our mothering is being judged 24/7! That we have to look, do, and be our best at all times.
That is so sad to me. It is absolutely detrimental to all mothers and future mothers.
We were given these little blessings as a GIFT from GOD!
And how do we show our love, appreciation and thankfulness for these gifts??
We brag about Susie's new wardrobe from The Children's Place(Look, how posh my toddler looks in her name brand clothes)
I honestly don't care where you buy them(that was the first store that popped into my head).
Susie could be wearing her brother's torn jeans with a Spongebob pajama shirt, and she would still be YOUR GIFT!
We want to bash the momma who breastfeeds in public!
Oh! What shame she endures to feed her child a healthy meal in the view of others...while your  letting little Dougy eat fries off the floor in the mall!

Here's the thing, Mommas! We all live and do the best we can! Every day!
It is a learning process and none of us have all the answers.
Yes, I want my child to eat and be healthy. That is the goal!
And, yes! She has chocolate milk and Pez candy for breakfast!
It happens! Life goes on!

I have three daughters and while I have tried to teach them the best I can. I mess up!
I have honestly said to them...I don't know!
I don't have the right answer!

There are some wonderful, (and hilarious) Mom authors that have written books about just how imperfect being a mother is. This is what motherhood is. Not photoshopped or edited. Real and Raw. Some stories are a hoot, some will have you crying, but every one of them will ease your idea that there are perfect moms.
They do not exist!

These are a few things I KNOW I have taught my daughters! 
And I am totally cool with them learning these lessons! I'm imperfect! They know it. I know it. My lovely husband knows it. God knows it!

1. Brushing your hair is optional! Washing it is not!
Hail praise to the woman who invented the "messy bun"! She is my secret idol!
Me+ 3 daughters= hair nightmares!
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"

2. Bare feet are preferred!
I don't care. I'm a hillbilly, true and through.
I hate shoes, they hate shoes. Yes, we own them and will wear them when it is required, but it will not be done willingly or happily.

3.I love Jesus and I cuss a little. Well, I'm being honest.
It happens. He knows it, so why hide it.
I say SH*T...a lot! I wouldn't say, I'm proud of that, but I'm not completely ashamed either. It is what it is.

4. If you can win an argument or make me laugh by bursting out a movie quote...your punishment will most likely decrease.
Me: "Let go of your sisters (hair, toy, book, etc)"!!
Kid:"Let it Go, Let it Go..."
(This one is worn out! Y'all need new material!)

5. You have to at least try what I make.
 I'm not a professional Chef, but you won't die!
I am a fairly good cook, some dishes I can rock out, others I bomb. I do what I can and hope for the best.

6. Hugs, kisses and prayers are mandatory!
You will give me hugs and kisses at my every request, and prayers will not be skipped.
I try to pray with them every day, or at least remind them to say their prayers.

7. I'm not doing it all! I have good, productive days and I have days when I don't even care if you brush your teeth!
If you want food...the kitchen ain't moved.
(make me a sandwich while you're in there!)

8. We don't need the television!
It is a luxury, not a requirement. You can do something other than watch TV in your free time!
"What you're bored?....Wannna wash a dish, scrub a toilet?"

9. I will forget.
I'm sorry..not sorry.
I remembered to fill out your athletic form, and I remembered the lunchable(cheese pizza, not pepperoni), your raspberry cereal bars, red Powerades, bikini, not brief pack of new underwear, and your 2 rolls of "Volleyball" ribbon for Monday. I forgot your only white, ankle, not shin lengths socks.

10. I'm not giving you "free money"
I buy what you need, and you can earn money or activities.
You don't work for it, you ain't getting it.
Don't hate, Appreciate! xoxo

I know this isn't the best list, but hey, I'm not the best!
I'm just a Momma trying to keep it cup of coffee at a time!
I guess the lesson here is, this post isn't about what we teach our children, it's about what we can teach ourselves and other moms.
I want you to know:
It is ok if Timmy walks into church with jelly on his face.
It is ok if you haven't given them a bath in 2/3 days.
It is ok if they come running in, mud caked.
It is ok if they stay up too late.
It is ok if you forgot to schedule their dentist appointment.
It is ok if you've fed them McDonald's three times this week.

Mommas! It is ok! They will be ok! You will be ok!
We all have got to start being kinder, more helpful. We need to be less judgmental, less scolding!

I need a refill.
What are some wacky lessons you have taught your children? 
Did you teach them intentionally, or did it sort of just happen?
What have YOU learned?
How do you honestly feel about some of the lesson you have passed on?
I love feedback and other opinions.

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